October and Remembering Home

Coming into the full-fledged autumn season I remember how much I love the change of seasons we enjoy here in Ontario. Yes, there arre several days during the depths of winter that I wish for tropical weather but without the cold how would we really appreciatte the heat of August, or the newness of spring. Look at me, waxing poetic.

This summer has been the easiest so far living here in the big smoke, we got through the steamy days with swimming at the local pool and enjoying the creek as much as possible. I still get a kick out of the shocked look on the peoples faces as there realize we're swimming-in-the-creek!?

With the coming of autumn is the expected homesickness. With no where to store food here and no harvest to collect and put up I wrestle against the desperation of wanting to go home so badly I can taste the frustration. I know we are meant to "bloom where we are planted" but I just don't want to. I won't pretend that here is where I will be happy, this is no place to raise kids, no place to live long term. I accept that some people like living here and prefer it above all other places but we are not them, I do appreciate my husbands job and how he is happyish here but knowing how perfect North is for the rest of us makes settling in here tough.

I, usually, try not to watch too many documentaries or youtube videos about homesteading or prepping but when the homesickness is thickest watching these things and letting the grief come brings the purge I need. I'm sad a while, a little grouchy. Then it passes and we go on. One day I will get home, one day soon I hope but until we've riden this out we just have to hang on, learn what we must and look to the dawn.

Lyric

Last night while coming home from a meeting at 8:30 I almost creamed a guy wearing all black, riding a dark coloured bicycle in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD! I didn't see him until the last moment when he swerved out of the way and I saw the reflecter on his wheel. I missed him by less than a foot! Man, I was so mad!

 I told my daughter, "If I had hit him I would have yelled at him for being such a dumbie while he lay on the road bleeding." Sheesh, black guy, black clothes, dark night, no light on his bike, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STINKIN' ROAD!  What a maroon!

Now that I've calmed I know I would have felt terrible if I had hit him and wouldn't have really yelled at him but man, what a dumb thing to do. 

I will indulge in a little pet peeve venting here.

Today while leaving our grocery store parking lot we were almost hit by a moron trying to enter the exit while talking on his cell phone. grrr

I told him to get off the phone and was told to mind my own business. Hunh?! Considering you almost hit my van with my children in it it IS MY STINKING BUSINESS BUD! Man, somedays I wish I could carry a paint gun and "christen" stupid people. sheesh

In other news:

Princess is heading to friends to work for a couple days. For a girl who says she's not sure if she wants kids she is amazing with them, they all have a great time and the kids beg for her to come back again and again.

The Cadet is heading to a canoe trip this weekend with his corps. I give 'em ten minutes in the canoes before some wiseacre tips the whole kit an caboodle. lol

Tank and Turbo are enjoying some newly aquired roller blades. Turbo is picking up the skill very easily and Tank is stubbornly, perhaps determinedly is better, getting better each time.

We keep swinging from hot to cold and rainy weather which is rather irritating. Guess I should just be happy that its not snowing Lol

Freedom, Awareness, and Self-Defence

When do we grant freedom and allow our kids to go off on their own?

It really depends on the kid.

Sissy is seventeen and rarely goes anywhere by herself. She is more nervous and that makes her an easier target for dirtbags. A nervous person shows it and attracts predators, they may as well glow in the dark. We're working on the self-confidence issue and she's made great strides but it doesn't come naturally for our girl. She knows how to be LOUD and how to kick (watch out men) and she is gaining confidence everyday. One day she's gonna change the world my girl, atleast her corner of it anyway. She is very aware of manipulators, flatterers, and charmers, these are often the greatest threat to a girls heart and I'm so glad she's got that down. You GO girl!

The Cadet at twelve years old occassionally took the city bus to cadets (he is 14 now and takes the bus all over scarborough) he has common sense, is trained in self defense and is very aware of his surroundings.

Our second son, Turbo, is coming up on 12 and though he is also trained in self-defence he is oblivious and gets lost in thought too much, and tends to over react to stressful, unfamiliar situations so there is no way he's ready for the same freedom.

Our third boy, Tank, age ten us more like his oldest brother and will have more freedom at twelve than the now eleven year old (middle son). Not better, just different.
Our four children (and Mum) are very capable of defending themselves against a full grown adult but the awareness to know an attack or grab is coming makes the difference. Knowing what to do if; you get lost, there is sudden bad weather, an accident etc and self and situational awareness are the deciding factors for me granting freedom and responsibility to my children, along with how open the kids are to talking things through with us, if they are obedient etc. If they tend to hide things or be dishonest then they are pulled close and kept close.

As a family we have established signals, for example; If we are at the park and its time to go,  someone is moving too slowly, we have an emergency etc. I blow the van horn three times and the kids now to hurry and meet up. The more frequently I sound the horn three times the more they know to MOVE. Stragglers get trouble. No question.

We have done fire drills, talked about sexual predators, the sex slave trade, drug use, mental health, how to solve conflicts peacefully whenever possible, how to defend ones self physically when necessary and how to know when it is necessary. We talk about smooth talkers and manipulators, flirts, bullies, perverts, and users.

We talk about taking responsibility and how doing the right thing is not always accepted as the right thing and how to stand strong when you are right and others hate you for it. We talk about being understanding of other peoples choices while standing firm on what is right.

I do my best to make home a safe place to let them talk, to listen to what they are saying and not saying. I try to understand where they are developmentally, to who they are as people and what God has designed them to do in the future, that way they know  they can come to me with anything and I'll help 'em out. Not matter what.

That's how I arm my kids.

I Haven't forgotten!

I haven't forgotten about this blog. I'm just waiting to have something interesting to post!

We've spent much of the past few week's free time playing our xbox and watching youtube videos. The weather has been unpleasant and we had lost our motivation to play outside much. But the boys are really starting to get restless and on my LAST nerve. lol  So I'm sure we'll have some fun things to tell you about soon.

"When we go to the park I feel like I'm unleashed", Tank   Mum too, son, Mum too.

Family Day Fun

With today being Family Day here in Ontario and Hero having the day off we wanted to have some extra special fun together. So this morning all the guys went to the local YMCA for some free swimming, we LOVE free, while Sissy and I got the much neglected kitchen in shape and enjoyed some quiet time without the noisier parts of our family under foot. We all enjoyed it!

This afternoon we went to one of our favourite creeks for a winter bonfire. Oh.so.glorious! It was quiet, woodsy, and smelled like home. We had hot chocolate with marshmallows and some roasted marshmallows and, more importantly, some much needed outdoor/get-your-feet-on-the-ground time. We all feel deliciously tired and smell nice to boot!

Here's Hero, Turbo (in the blue darker blue jacket), Tank (in the red), and Me (in the burgundy) prepping the fire pit. You can just see my brother sitting on the bench. He's such a fun a guy and enjoys himself pretty much whereever we go.

Here's the Cadet trying to coax the reluctant fire into life. Lighting a winter fire proved rather tricky but we got it done finally. It took a while and lots of determination but we finally got it going and we enjoyed the familiar crackle and warmth.
"Our" creek;

 

We were all suprised to see the creek still running.

 

 

To think we'll be swimming here in just a few short months!

 

The Princess was good enough to take the pictures for us today. She has a real eye for photography and we put to work with this as often as possible. Here are a few more samples of her good work:

 

 

What a talented girl!

 

 

 

The Greatest Valentine

God's Valentine Gift

 

God's Valentine gift of love to us

Was not a bunch of flowers;

It wasn't candy, or a book

To while away the hours.

His gift was to become a man,

So He could freely give

His sacrificial love for us,

So you and I could live.

He gave us sweet salvation, and

Instruction, good and true--

To love our friends and enemies

And love our Saviour, too.

 

So as we give our Valentines,

Let's thank our Lord and King;

The reason we have love to give?

He gave us everything.

From Taste of Home magazine

When Boys are Bored

Its true to say a tired boy is a happy boy. It is equally true to say and bored and restless boy is a grumpy, annoying, down right ornery boy. ugh

Monday and Tuesday we were very busy running around doing errands. The weather has not been great and the snow has been melty and slushy which means the minute I send the boys outside they soon come in wet and cold because boys cannot stay dry when there is even the slightest amount of water out there. double ugh

Add in several cases of the February blahs. Triple ugh.

Today was grumpy boy day at my house. Tank was needy, bored, and got on my last nerve.  The Cadet and Turbo had busied themselves playing with a new Lego set which unfortunately left Tank out of most of the fun. He likes Lego all right but most of the time he'd gladly choose something else to do. He really, really wanted to engage me in his need for entertainment but I was feeling rather peevish (remember I promised I'd be honest here) and I just didn't want to play. Bad Mummy.

The good thing about boys? They have short memories and are quick to forgive a very human and sometimes selfish parent. Tomorrow is a new day and I'll be sure to make it a fun one.

Hey! It's Valentines Day tomorrow. Hmmmmm, what can I do that is not too girly and "fluffy" and really fun for boys? Oh yeah! I'll feed 'em fun food. How could I forget, boys marching on their stomaches and all that. Lol.  Heart shaped pancakes for breakfast.  Maybe I could even colour them if they haven't used all of my red food colouring in one of their concoctions. Oh, there's another story.....

Hope you have a wonderful Valentines day!

You Better Know Your Snakes & Naval Engagments

This past summer we discovered a really great, rather under used beach. Nope, I'm not telling you where it is, I don't want it to get popular.  It has a small river flowing out and lots of sand area, and few naked people. We don't do half naked at the beach. Shorts and T-shirts for us. We don't need to see your business and you don't need to see ours.

Know Your Snakes

One beach visit the Cadet decided he'd go exploring on the beach other side of the river mouth. Turning up some floatsome at the waters edge he came across a rather large, black water snake. Awesome! While trying to bring it back across the river to show me, the uncooperative snake decides to get bitey. Ow, but not a big deal. He's been bit more than once.
Funny part. Buddy fishing just up river of the Cadet sees him getting bit by said ornery snake.  Buddy becomes rather animated, "Hey, did it bite you? You better get that looked at! Where's you parents?! I could be poisonous!"

Cadet, "It's just a common water snake, they tend to be grumpy" cool as a cucumber. That's my boy. 

Naval Engagement

On of our favourite activities at this beach is to get boats (washed up logs) and sail them around and occasionally, okay frequently, ram into each other. We usually have teams of two or three but once in a while the Cadet will have a decidedly testosterone filled moment and try to take on all of us on his own. Foolish man/boy. Two little brothers, a stubborn sister, and one tough Mama all gang up on the Cadet and he is forced to admit defeat, that is unless he can convince a little brother or two to turn coat and gang up on the girls. That doesn't happnen too often. We control the kitchen :D 

"An army marches on its stomach?"  these boys sure seem to.

How We Got Here

Our three boys spent their youngest years with us (my hubby and I, the authoress of this blog), our oldest child and only girl Rebekah, and my parents up near North Bay on nine acres in the bush. Heaven, I call it. I miss it everyday.

Hubby needing employment and my parents marriage disolving necessitated our move to a pretty three acre rent house three hours south. Okay, not too much of a change we were happy but missed my family.  We adjusted.

Four years later life, finances, and employment needs moved us to a large three bedroom apartment in Scarborough. Oh. Um. Yeah. That was a HUGE change.

After the blush of newness wore off we started to realize the huge change we had chosen. Wow.   I pouted on and off for about two years. Not mature.  I promise to keep this blog real, bratty moments and all. We have all struggled with the lack of privacy, quiet, and familiar surroundings. Learning how to get along in the city has been something of a culture shock.  I had thought moving from heaven to three hours south was an adjustment. unhuh. yeah. Not a day goes by that we don't talk about going home one day but we are learning to bloom where we are planted.

Two years in and we are starting to find our new normal, our balance.   We have discovered several really neat parks, some more wild than others. Our boys are enjoying using their sling shots and BB guns at the less groomed parks. We love swimming in our local creeks. We REALLY love watching the city peoples faces when they see us swimming in the creeks.

Our boys rush through their school work (we homeschool) so they can go outside and fool around before the kids get out of school. Its no fun having helicopter parents freak out on you because you're "in that dirty creek, and stop chasing those ducks!"  For the record my boys don't chase the ducks and would never hurt one (except one case of misunderstanding on appropriate sligshot usage) but there are a lot of over sensitive bunny huggers around here.

While running the parks and staying decidely off the pretty paved paths we have discovered alot of wildlife we didn't expect to see in the city. We've seen deer, muskrats, a beaver? (we're still debating exactly what that was), water snakes (oh that's a story I will tell),  lots of skunks, racoons, a coyote or two, large salmon running this autumn, some brown tout, creek chub, sunfish, perch, and many, many squirrels.

In this blog I hope to encourage anyone who is looking to raise free range boys. I have no interest in attempting any form of political correctness so if that's what you're looking for, sorry, won't find it here. My boys are wild, they fight, get dirty, fish, shoot BB guns and slingshots, light camp fires, work and play hard. They wear out their shoes, tear holes in the knees of brand new jeans, lose pocket knives and jackets, and go through alot of marbles and BB.  They run the trails here and are learning how to be men, real men who can get the job done, look after their women (my hubby is a great example of this ) and know to look after each other. They fight like crazy somedays but I pity any outsider who picks a fight, 'cause they'll have three to contend with. That's just how I want it.