I will indulge in a little pet peeve venting here.
Today while leaving our grocery store parking lot we were almost hit by a moron trying to enter the exit while talking on his cell phone. grrr
I told him to get off the phone and was told to mind my own business. Hunh?! Considering you almost hit my van with my children in it it IS MY STINKING BUSINESS BUD! Man, somedays I wish I could carry a paint gun and "christen" stupid people. sheesh
In other news:
Princess is heading to friends to work for a couple days. For a girl who says she's not sure if she wants kids she is amazing with them, they all have a great time and the kids beg for her to come back again and again.
The Cadet is heading to a canoe trip this weekend with his corps. I give 'em ten minutes in the canoes before some wiseacre tips the whole kit an caboodle. lol
Tank and Turbo are enjoying some newly aquired roller blades. Turbo is picking up the skill very easily and Tank is stubbornly, perhaps determinedly is better, getting better each time.
We keep swinging from hot to cold and rainy weather which is rather irritating. Guess I should just be happy that its not snowing Lol
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Wednesday, May 08, 2013
Freedom, Awareness, and Self-Defence
When do we grant freedom and allow our kids to go off on their own?
It really depends on the kid.
Sissy is seventeen and rarely goes anywhere by herself. She is more nervous and that makes her an easier target for dirtbags. A nervous person shows it and attracts predators, they may as well glow in the dark. We're working on the self-confidence issue and she's made great strides but it doesn't come naturally for our girl. She knows how to be LOUD and how to kick (watch out men) and she is gaining confidence everyday. One day she's gonna change the world my girl, atleast her corner of it anyway. She is very aware of manipulators, flatterers, and charmers, these are often the greatest threat to a girls heart and I'm so glad she's got that down. You GO girl!
The Cadet at twelve years old occassionally took the city bus to cadets (he is 14 now and takes the bus all over scarborough) he has common sense, is trained in self defense and is very aware of his surroundings.
Our second son, Turbo, is coming up on 12 and though he is also trained in self-defence he is oblivious and gets lost in thought too much, and tends to over react to stressful, unfamiliar situations so there is no way he's ready for the same freedom.
Our third boy, Tank, age ten us more like his oldest brother and will have more freedom at twelve than the now eleven year old (middle son). Not better, just different.
Our four children (and Mum) are very capable of defending themselves against a full grown adult but the awareness to know an attack or grab is coming makes the difference. Knowing what to do if; you get lost, there is sudden bad weather, an accident etc and self and situational awareness are the deciding factors for me granting freedom and responsibility to my children, along with how open the kids are to talking things through with us, if they are obedient etc. If they tend to hide things or be dishonest then they are pulled close and kept close.
As a family we have established signals, for example; If we are at the park and its time to go, someone is moving too slowly, we have an emergency etc. I blow the van horn three times and the kids now to hurry and meet up. The more frequently I sound the horn three times the more they know to MOVE. Stragglers get trouble. No question.
We have done fire drills, talked about sexual predators, the sex slave trade, drug use, mental health, how to solve conflicts peacefully whenever possible, how to defend ones self physically when necessary and how to know when it is necessary. We talk about smooth talkers and manipulators, flirts, bullies, perverts, and users.
We talk about taking responsibility and how doing the right thing is not always accepted as the right thing and how to stand strong when you are right and others hate you for it. We talk about being understanding of other peoples choices while standing firm on what is right.
I do my best to make home a safe place to let them talk, to listen to what they are saying and not saying. I try to understand where they are developmentally, to who they are as people and what God has designed them to do in the future, that way they know they can come to me with anything and I'll help 'em out. Not matter what.
That's how I arm my kids.
It really depends on the kid.
Sissy is seventeen and rarely goes anywhere by herself. She is more nervous and that makes her an easier target for dirtbags. A nervous person shows it and attracts predators, they may as well glow in the dark. We're working on the self-confidence issue and she's made great strides but it doesn't come naturally for our girl. She knows how to be LOUD and how to kick (watch out men) and she is gaining confidence everyday. One day she's gonna change the world my girl, atleast her corner of it anyway. She is very aware of manipulators, flatterers, and charmers, these are often the greatest threat to a girls heart and I'm so glad she's got that down. You GO girl!
The Cadet at twelve years old occassionally took the city bus to cadets (he is 14 now and takes the bus all over scarborough) he has common sense, is trained in self defense and is very aware of his surroundings.
Our second son, Turbo, is coming up on 12 and though he is also trained in self-defence he is oblivious and gets lost in thought too much, and tends to over react to stressful, unfamiliar situations so there is no way he's ready for the same freedom.
Our third boy, Tank, age ten us more like his oldest brother and will have more freedom at twelve than the now eleven year old (middle son). Not better, just different.
Our four children (and Mum) are very capable of defending themselves against a full grown adult but the awareness to know an attack or grab is coming makes the difference. Knowing what to do if; you get lost, there is sudden bad weather, an accident etc and self and situational awareness are the deciding factors for me granting freedom and responsibility to my children, along with how open the kids are to talking things through with us, if they are obedient etc. If they tend to hide things or be dishonest then they are pulled close and kept close.
As a family we have established signals, for example; If we are at the park and its time to go, someone is moving too slowly, we have an emergency etc. I blow the van horn three times and the kids now to hurry and meet up. The more frequently I sound the horn three times the more they know to MOVE. Stragglers get trouble. No question.
We have done fire drills, talked about sexual predators, the sex slave trade, drug use, mental health, how to solve conflicts peacefully whenever possible, how to defend ones self physically when necessary and how to know when it is necessary. We talk about smooth talkers and manipulators, flirts, bullies, perverts, and users.
We talk about taking responsibility and how doing the right thing is not always accepted as the right thing and how to stand strong when you are right and others hate you for it. We talk about being understanding of other peoples choices while standing firm on what is right.
I do my best to make home a safe place to let them talk, to listen to what they are saying and not saying. I try to understand where they are developmentally, to who they are as people and what God has designed them to do in the future, that way they know they can come to me with anything and I'll help 'em out. Not matter what.
That's how I arm my kids.
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